Making Our Way Back Read online




  MAKING OUR WAY BACK

  A STANDALONE NOVEL

  JENNAH THORNHILL

  Making Our Way Back

  Published by Jennah Thornhill

  Copyright 2017 by Jennah Thornhill

  All rights reserved.

  ©

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, songs and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead is coincidental.

  Written by- Jennah Thornhill

  Edited by- Karina Boote

  Book Cover- Envy Design

  Formatter- JC Clarke

  All rights reserved in accordance with the Copyright and Related Rights act 2000.

  No part of this publication maybe be reproduced or copied in anyway.

  For Donna.

  My original bitch.

  You wanted a book with a character named after you, well you got one.

  Thank you for being my bitch for the past thirty years, I wouldn’t of got this far in life without by my side.

  CONTENTS

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Epilogue

  Play List

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Also by Jennah Thornhill

  Thirteen years ago

  T his is the fourth time just this week alone, I’ve locked myself in the toilets at school. They do nothing but taunt me and ridicule me, forcing me to shut myself away. I go to school, having to keep myself, to myself, it gets lonely and I get angry with the people there, including the teachers. They‘ve all heard the stories about the way I live and my vile birth mum, she’s a slut and sleeps with anyone and everyone especially if she thinks she can get something out of it in return. When she isn’t spread out on her back for that, she’s flat on her back from whatever drugs she could get her hands on at the time.

  Someone found out about my mum and now the whole of the school knows. I feel like I don’t belong there at all, like I’m not good enough, even though I’ve done nothing wrong, nothing that was in my control anyway, that’s what makes me so bloody mad, it’s not my fault I don’t have loving, caring parents. No, I’m stuck with what I have.

  There’s only one person in the whole of the school who I can call a friend, a very close friend. Kane Williams. He’s my best friend, but I feel it’s only because he’s alone too, even though he tells me otherwise. We’re both fifteen and heading into our last year of high school. We’re friends because we get each other, we both come from a single parent family. Kane also lives with his drug induced father who’s no better. We’ve both had to take care of ourselves from an early age, we’ve had to as we haven’t really been giving the choice, that was taken away from us before we could do anything about it. We both had a hard time just trying to survive in this world. And to survive we had to suck it up and get on with it.

  Like I said, she’s the reason why I’m currently getting pushed about, talked about, one girl even spat at me and called me vile names I’d never even heard off, word spread around the school faster than you could catch herpes.

  “Luce, you in there baby girl?” It’s Kane. I knew he’d come looking for me, he always does.

  Sniffling my tears back and wiping my eye’s with the cuff of my tatty school jumper, I unlock the door, looking up at the most stormiest grey eyes I have ever seen. I’ve known I was in love with this boy for some time now, since the day he rescued me from a beating in the school gym. Emma James and her skanky tribe had cornered me, they were ripping me apart for not being up to date with my clothes and the fact that my mother had apparently shagged Emma’s dad didn’t help the situation.

  Pulling myself out of the memories from that day I whisper, “I’m here.” As I walk out of the toilet.

  “I swear to you one day Luce, I will stop all of this.” His voice filled with sympathy.

  Grabbing me by the shoulders he pulls me in for a hug. Wrapping my arms around him, I breath him in and straight away I feel safe.

  “Look we both need get back before we get into trouble, meet me tonight in our spot when she’s passed out?” He asks.

  I nod my head against his chest before separating myself from his warm body.

  With that he’s gone and I’m left alone, feeling cold and unwanted.

  He never did show up at our spot that night… or at school for the remainder of the year.

  In fact I never saw him again at all.

  Until one day he showed up in my organised life unexpectedly, making me question every thought I’d ever had as to why he just upped and left me.

  Kane

  Pacing the tiny room they’ve put me in, I look down at my hands that are covered in blood. What I did tonight wasn’t about me being a nasty bastard, it was all about her. Even though one look at me would say otherwise.

  I was protecting her, making sure she didn’t get hurt. I’ve always been there for her so now isn’t any different. Only this time I’ve gone one step further, I’ve just got to pay the consequences for my actions, and do my time. Yeah, that’s right. I’m currently in the process of getting charged with two accounts of GBH, on the plus side I’m not getting done for manslaughter, that’s something I guess.

  I’m not going to deny that I didn’t do it because I did and I’d do it again in heartbeat, the men got what they both deserved, I’d go as far as saying they deserved to die, even though that wasn’t my intention. I’m not an animal. Even at the age of fifteen, a side of me came alive that I never thought was a part of me. I just saw red and flew off the handle, and hearing them speak about Lucy in the way they did, not a care in the world whether someone hears them or not. That was it then, I just charged at them. Turns out I’m a pretty decent fighter and know how to throw a punch, not that it’s anything to be proud of, but it could have gone a completely different way, with me lying in a ditch somewhere.

  I just hope eventually, when she does find out the truth one day that she will be able to forgive me, understand why I did what I did. That she will realise that everything I did was for her. That I’m more than willing to give up my life for hers.

  Will she see it that way or run for the hills and not look back.

  Would all of this be for nothing?

  Lucy

  Present day

  “I don’t give two bloody shits if he wants the house, he’s not getting it. The twat shouldn’t of cheated on his wife.” I shout down the phone, then slam the receiver down for effect.

  I slump down in my high back leather chair, looking over my desk at my client Lacey. Who looks as if her worlds just fell out of her arse, and no one will give the poor girl a break.

  “Don’t worry Lace, they don’t cal
l me vicious for nothing.” I tell her. “I will get you what you want, that cheating rat bastard won’t be getting off lightly.”

  She swallows sharply. And if I’m right, she’s got a golf ball sized lump in her throat, from trying her damn hardest at keeping the tears at bay.

  She nods her head, at the same time wiping a few leaked tears away with the back of her hand.

  “Thank you so much Lucy, I know you’ll do your best for me. I trust you.” With that she gets up out of the bucket chair across from my desk, leans over and offers me her hand, which I take and give her a reassuring nod of my head.

  Once she’s left my office, I lean back in my chair and take in my surroundings. Still not quite believing how far I’ve come, if only the bitches from school could see me now. With that I look down and inspect my babies that I’m currently wearing. My Yves Saint Laurent black sling back leaf shoes. I bought them when I got made junior partner at my firm, as a treat to myself for all my hard bloody work.

  At the grand old age of twenty eight, I’ve worked myself to the bone to get to where I am today. When ‘He who shall not be named’ left and I finally realised he wasn’t coming back, I kept my head down and worked my hardest just to get through school. With not having any social life at all whist in school I left with all of my G.C.S.E grades B+ and above. No one was going to stop me, not even my mother.

  I wanted more for myself. More than what my mother had, more than what I had growing up.

  So once I left school, I got a part time job in an solicitors office whilst working my way through university, doing a law degree. Once I graduated I got offered a job at Jones & Hughes, the best divorce solicitors to work for in London. I decided to work in that field so I could help people who had been screwed over, especially by someone they thought they would be with for the rest of their lives.

  Over the years I’ve pushed ‘He who shall not be named’ from my head as much as I can, but it’s been bloody hard. Especially when the twat does nothing but grace the country with his beautiful smile over every form of media he deems possible. Telling the world how fantastic his business is, and that he’s the next Richard Branson. Granted he didn’t pop up on my television till about six years after he fucked off and left me standing at our spot waiting for him, but that’s no excuse in my eyes. Not once has he attempted to get in touch with me, and that just pisses me off to the max. For all I knew he could’ve been dead and I would never of known. Who does that to another person? The person who is supposed to be their best friend, the person they tell everything too.

  Not giving my brain any more room to think about him, I straighten my back and continue to be the kick arse solicitor that I know I am.

  I take my job very serious, I don’t fuck about.

  I get my client what they want, if not more.

  Two hours later there’s a knock on my office door, Cole my assistant, my very gay assistant pop’s his head around the door. He’s been my assistant now for the past two and a half years, I couldn’t have asked for anybody better. When he walked in and asked me for a job, waving his arms around everywhere, and him not stopping for a breather, he made me smile. So I asked him there and then if he could come for an interview the next day.

  He’s a lovely guy with a wicked sense of humour. So I gave him the job, and he’s very good at it, he keeps my diary up to date and he knows where I am or need to be with my meetings. He’s organised my work life better than I ever could. And now after all this time, he’s more like the gay brother I never had, inside of work he knows I’m his boss and respects me. Outside of work … well that’s a different story altogether.

  “I’m off for the day beautiful… don’t stay to late like usual. You need to get a life.” He chuckles, the sarcastic git. It’s a good job I bloody love him, the day he came for his interview is one I won’t forget in a hurry. He rocked up in the skinniest pair of tailored trousers I had ever seen on a man, they were practically painted on to his body. Then there’s the pink Tom Ford floral shirt. That thing nearly blinded me, it was that bright.

  He’s a lovely guy, and I knew the minute he opened his mouth that I had to hire him.

  Although he has no idea about ‘he who shall not be named’. I’ve never told anyone about him, it was too painful.

  Even now… I still can’t bring myself to even utter his name.

  It still seems like yesterday, that he ripped my heart out and ran over it with a double decker bus.

  Yet again my mind has gone wondering and then it’s comes to attention that I still haven’t answered Cole.

  Fiddling with my pen I finally answer him.

  “I won’t, I promise. Just a couple more calls to make then I’m gone.”

  “Good girl. Go get yourself a hot bubble bath and a bottle of wine. You need to chill out.” He tells me.

  Laughing at his words, I wave him off with a promise that I’ll do just that.

  Kane

  “What the fuck do you mean you don’t do divorce cases? I need this bitch out of my life now. And preferably with my business still intact! She’s nothing but a money grabbing gold digger.” I fume at Steve my solicitor, who currently looks like he’s going to piss himself in the chair across from me.

  “Exactly that Kane, divorce law isn’t my speciality. You hired me to make sure all your business dealings were above board, not to get the woman who you thought was the bee's knees out your life. You shouldn’t have gotten pissed and thought it was a good idea to marry her when you were in Vegas.” He states.

  Scoffing at his words, I fiddle with the buttons on my suit jacket not looking at him now. The butt munch is right… as bloody usual.

  “Look, if you're really serious about getting Sophie gone, then I can speak to some friends for you if you want me to?”

  I don’t know why he’s not running from my office and already on the phone, of course I’m friggin serious. I’m a hares breath away from killing the bitch.

  And more jail time is not what I want or need.

  Forcing the dark thoughts that I know will come if I allow them, I stand from my chair before telling Steve.

  “Just do what you have to do, arrange whatever meeting you have to. I’ll be there. Please just help me get rid of her, I can’t sleep in the hotel any longer, I want my own house back.” My voice is stern, yet friendly. It’s not his fault I fucked up and now she won’t leave.

  “I will do.” He replies as he gets up from the chair. No longer looking like he’s going to piss himself. Just as he goes to walk through the door to leave I stop him.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that, it’s not your fault, and I know you you’ll keep your word. Thank you Steve.”

  With a stiff nod of his head he walks out, leaving me to think. I should never be allowed to just sit and think. Because when I do my mind always drifts back in time, a time when dealing with my druggie dad was actually simple. Along with these thoughts, always come the flashbacks and she is always in them. Her crying in the girl's toilets, her laughing and playing on the rope swing I made for us at our spot. She was my happy place. Then I monumentally fucked up and I left her. She has no idea what happened after I left her that day at school crying, I didn’t want her knowing. I just cut all ties, there were a million and one times I wanted to write to her and tell her everything, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I know if she did then she would think I was some sort of monster, but what I did, I did it for her. Five years of my freedom was a small price to pay. The stretch I did made it all worth it, knowing she wasn’t hurt and that I did one last thing to protect her.

  It’s been thirteen years since I’ve clapped eyes on her beautiful face, and there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought about her. I know deep down she hates me now, I don’t blame her. We were each other’s everything, and I know she would have suffered tremendously after I left, but it surely can’t be anything as bad, or tedious as what she could have gone through if I didn’t do what I did. />
  I’ve always wanted to find her, but I had to sort myself out before I did. There was no way I could just knock on her door five years after I left and say, ‘Hey Luce long time no see, fancy grabbing a coffee?’ That would have been a sure fire way of getting a swift kick to the bollocks.

  I’m almost certain in the back of my mind, I only married Sophie because she reminded me of Lucy. I know that's messed up, but if I squinted hard enough I swear they could’ve been twins in another life.

  The long dark hair, the green eyes and if I looked hard enough, and I’m pretty sure Sophie even scrunched her nose up the same way Lucy did when something disgusts her. I could be wrong, the last time I saw Lucy we were both fifteen, she’s more than likely changed a lot by now. If I remember correctly her mother was always trying to turn her into something she wasn’t, something more girly. That right alone worried me to death, her mother was a grade A slapper. Did she make Luce take the same path? Is she being kept by some sixty year old sugar daddy because her mother told her that’s how life worked? Dear god I hope not. She was too perfect… too innocent for that kind of life. I was her only friend, so I know how innocent she was. Not that I didn’t wish we were more, because I did. I just knew that she needed a friend more, I was all she had to take care of her.